BIRTHING STELLA + fasting

so today i'm almost done completing my "fasting" day...

I have a few more things to do...

...like complete (this day and yesterday's day) in my awesome birthday gift [http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Jesus/Beth-Moore/e/9780805446456]
(thanks GLENN)
...read & pray for another hour or so after i get off this blog...
I'm kinda new & not sure of the "correct way" or if there is even a correct way..but im committing and doing what i gather. Fasting is a spiritual discipline that allows us to hear the voice of God better. Its a time where spiritual nourishment replaces physical nourishment.

I didnt eat but i did drink. :/

haha I even went to dinner with two friends, and it was his "birthday" dinner/eat out celebrationish thing... i drank my tea & conversed.
It wasnt that hard... but those charbroiled oysters did look tempting to try for the first time. LOL

I've fasted from food before, but this time i had a "focus meditation" ...
The focus of this day was to be God's Word. Praying that our actions, decision and thoughts are guided by His WORD.
I prayed and thanked him for this to happen in my life throughout the day.. also with just praying/thanking like normal.
:) I could/should have done better by having more of "ME" time... where i could concentrate & speak more. But that'll be in a few minutes.

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I don't know how anyone who has ever experienced or seen live child birth can't BELIEVE in GOD.

LIFE is a TRUE MIRACLE

seriously, it is just amazing & miraculous how it happens. I've seen live birth about 6 or so times, 2 of my sisters (4) and 2 complete strangers when I worked in the hospital.
Last night... I was able to be apart of one of my best friend's HOME/WATER BIRTH. And photograph it.
She was so amazing & strong and the whole home thing is so admirable. She prepared herself well and she works in that field so she knows whats going on... but its funny how knowing things & having to actually apply & perform comes into play when its such a huge thing like giving birth... you're kinda all up in the pain & moment. She did very well & made it look easy even l though it wasn't.

It was such a beautiful experience... in my opinion.

Unfortunetly, when the baby came; she was carrying Niagra Falls too (hehe) so I didnt get to photograph the whole sequenial exiting of the womb... being my left hand was helping her hold her leg and then i grabbed towels with my trigger hand... and within those quickest 3 seconds, after throwing the towels i had less than a second to recompose myself and refocus my tear out my eye ...then was able to start snapping while the baby was rushed to her mother's arms.

Its really breathtaking when you're able to hear the first glimpse of life. The baby was laying on her mother, quiet... breathing... and now about 10 seconds after exiting the womb, the ruffle of hands and the suction of "baby glob"... and the most beautiful burst of a quiet cry.

Goodness that pulls on my heart strings & reality of God all comes rushing in with those 8 seconds of silence.
I thanked God the moment Stella arrived, [for the safety of my friend/baby & the whole experience I was able to have with them] & felt fully confirmed He was watching over them as I see the baby in the arms of my dear friend & hearing the faint cry of newborn life.
A bundle of love delivered right into your life. A miracle...thats what occured. God's greatest work... I doubt I'm wrong... but thats just my perspective of January 15th at 11:18pm - Miss Stella Marie




I'm going to try my best to always remember this perspective, especially on the day I have my first child.

On another note... I love the innocence of a child. Nora's 2 year old comprehension of this event going on was so hilarious & awesome! Kids are great...
When her mother laid on the bed in the photo above... "MOMMA YOU HURT?" she asked.
The birthing "mess" had made a mess... when seeing the mess; her response to this... "UH, WHO MADE THIS MESS??" then afterwhile... holding her little sister, she says " BABY STELLA HAS HAIR LIKE NORA..." and proceeds to open the blankie.. " AND TEETAWS LIKE NORA..." opening it more... "WHAT'S THAT?" (abilical cord attatched ) ...how precious.
She is so 2 going on 20. This ought to be interesting to hear/experience about her growing ups with a sibling. Its been a while since i've been around todler kids.

my random pick of my bread of life scripture for today...
"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.: Mark 11:24 KJV
MAN I LOVE THIS ONE! AND i know in my heart this is confirmation of my "fasting" time with God I'm going end my day with now will be very very very well heard. its always the little things, like this 2.5 inch by 1 inch Bread of Life scripture card that God will talk to me, cuz I'm listening. Thank You Lord for everything... xo

Recipe for each year....

A GREAT RECIPE...FOR 2009! 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. 3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to_______ ___ today. I am thankful for_________ _____' 4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. 6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. 14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?' 17. Forgive everyone for everything. 18. What other people think of you is none of your business. 19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him. 20. However good or ba d a situation is, it will change. 21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!! 22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished _________. 24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. 25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it. Don't bother making new year's resolutions that you know you'll break! Print this one out and read it often in 2009, you'll feel much better about life and yourself. PASS IT ON

Gold Wrapping Paper

The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper.
Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and then said, 'This is for you, Momma.'
The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over-reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty.
She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. 'Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?'
She had tears in her eyes and said, 'Oh, Momma, it's not empty!
I blew kisses into it until it was full.'
The mother was crushed.
She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger. An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life.
Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends
and GOD. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• the story above was an email I read today... This Christmas that just past, I made some of my family & friends some "Encouragement Boxes" ... its kinda what the essence of the email was. Just a plain box filled with some thing and quotes, scriptures, things I've read/studied, and a tiny bit of information and words to keep them all encourage and hopefully start/continue them on their way to bettering themselves and living life truly free & happy. It says in the Bible that if you deny anyone of God's truth. you'll be judge for that. I like talking & helping others.. so its natural to me to do that. Plus I love em... so yanno. ;) I made me a box too, most of the info i have inside of me, plus im really strong in my faith & doing work to learn more... I need to write these two quotes for my peeps to put in their boxes.

•Friends are like angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

•If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!

My Bread of Life scripture is: "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." Psalm 126:5 KJV

I had prayed for additional places/events/things to involve myself in to grow & stay learning. Well last weekend... it came to me!
I was dissappointed that i couldn't go to NOLA to be apart of the www.bibleacrossamerica.com 's signing. WELL IT CAME TO ME TOO!!!
So they were going to be at this one church... I attended the service which was awesome.. well the bible scripture the pastor's teaching on.


God is the vine keeper. Jesus is the vine. We (humans) are the branches.
I love the lesson from this. So I'll be attending that church... on tomorrow to learn about it & get the info I need to join volunteer groups & attend events/services there.


Here are pics from my signing!! Its 2 handwritten Bibles. ONE goes into the Smithsonian and one copy gets published for purchase! :D
























God answers prayers ALWAYS, never late, but on HIS time. :)

so, it begins...

ut-oh! I got me a mic. (of sorts)
I have been wanting to do a journal... so I suppose this is what I will make of this opportunity. ;)
Lets see how far this takes me...

I'm at a stage in my life... aren't we all?
But not that many people I personally know are on the level I'm at in my life. I have this desire of being better, being closer to God, learning more, keeping motivated and just being what I'm suppose to be. Being and doing what I believe in. Being involved and growing in my relationship with God.
I feel like its the least I can do; for all the good things, opportunities, the "works" He has given me in my life & all the things He will continue to do.
I don't really feel like i "owe" Him... I'm learning from myself how its more of a CHOICE for me. A wanting.

If I had to put a date or occurrence... my mother's passing kind of started this into full gear for me.
I just knew that the only way I could make it through now and live life happy was with God's help.
Loving someone, that much... well it physically hurts at times living without them.

I refuse to let the devil make that situation be a downfall for me, something tragic and paralyzing.
I know that what the devil meant for harm... God will make it good. It says so in the Bible...

God really blessed me with me being able to talk to my mother for a few hours prior to the day she passed... i know without a doubt she KNEW how much I loved her, how much me & my family loved her. Regardless of me always showing it or not saying "i love u" enough... That helped comfort me. I know the purpose of the events that took place and I'm able to see God's work in that for me. He lets it be another one of my testimonies.
Confirming my faith and belief that HE does exist. He does Love me. He is here for me if I go to Him.
sorry, but there is a God. and Satan.... and heaven and hell!
I've learned so much by putting myself in places, events, reading & listening to certain things, putting myself around certain people... to where I can learn, from the Bible, experience TRUTH, pray and just daily, hourly, talk to God.
Its a hard committed sacrifice... I know I could try harder. I know what I should/could do. I try to stay in that encouragement, to keep my thoughts on the right things... but sometimes I choose not to, or busy myself with things. I'll have to answer for it later I know.. I thank God for His grace...and He knows my heart. I always try to talk to God throughout the day and thank Him. Sometimes I, yes ME really don't know what to say... so I just thank Him.
IT can be challenging to stay encouraged & give what God gives me to others.
That IS what we're suppose to do. Thats our purpose.

I cry or get upset knowing my mother is gone. But I always am appreciative for the time I had with her here and while trying to not focus on the past, I'm comforted in knowing what my future holds.

I have this cute lil BREAD OF LIFE scripture holder I bought me for Christmas... it has 100+ scriptures written on each side of the lil cards. Well I picked one today... it seems too fitting now. But I know its God's way of comforting me. And answering the questions I ask Him personally & keeping me encouraged. Knowing His Truth.
The scripture reads:
"I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking to me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!" Isaiah 65:24 NLT


For all my mother has done for me, for her birthing me & God giving me life, for all the hurt and pain and love, for the faith she instilled in me, for her teaching me about God, for the years we never spent together, for the hugs & kisses we didn't give enough to each other, for the laughter and tears, for the missed moments, the missed future occasions, for the for all the time we'll never get back or time we'll never get to spend together now... I want to make certain I see/experience my mother again.

And I will... in heaven. :)