TESTS OF FRIENDSHIPS

First off.... being CHRISTIAN is not being religious. Being CHRISTIAN is living like Christ ( or being Christ-like aka loving).

I been having these tests this year... along with feelings of disappointments & sadness... pertaining with my friends.

Mostly cuz they've not being good friends in my eyes (how dare i be so judgmental of them i know... ) & the lack of hanging out with certain ones...

and i came to the revelation... that the way some of my friends have been not being so involved with me is not cuz of me, but its cuz of whose i am...
I'm not the same as I use to be. I've chosen to live my life on bettering myself & other people. Trying to follow Christ, and not so much of the world. Its a daily battle, everyone knows.

I choose to be positive & share Godly wisdom, etc... I try not cuss much..., be encouraging, give, be selfless, etc.
I am trying to change me for the better cuz I know that things that happen, its not for me - its for someone else.
Another thing is I don't go party like i use to, I mean, I just choose not to spend most of my time in a bar / club or going get drunk, etc every weekend... (plus its OLD) ...so those party friends (only a tiny few ) don't invite me to go party as much & uninvolve me @ times. And thats ok.

BUT

i know its not cuz of me, even though i thought @ first thats what it was... and got upset a little. (defeated devil trying to pull me back into that lifestyle & make me sad)

but i figured out some things , and one is, its them not wanting to change / grow up / better themselves... they rather stick to living a carefree, party lifestyle... and thats fine too. Its their lives.. they live it. I use to go to clubs too & dance...
But i guess they can see the change in me ( like trying to better / not partying on weekends in a sense ).. yanno like why ask someone who doesnt do drugs to come over & do drugs? yanno what i mean?

Im not downing them, i use to live it too, im just saying there comes a time, when you gotta get priorities in line, maybe even growing up a little...

We're all at different levels as we live our lives...i still love them & am loving to them & there for them as I've always been... thats not changing unless they become unhealthy in my life.

And i can sit back knowing the truth... and just be in comfort & advise them when they need it....cuz those friends come when they want.
Yet they got all this drama all the time & they wonder why things are how they are... & why stuff is (crappy)... They don't see that they choose to ignore some things & don't want to take responsibility for how they are living... and CHOOSE to NOT change out of the lifestyles.
So its just the same cycle over and over for them...

The main thing thats changed is i dont feel bad about them not hanging out with me as much anymore cuz i KNOW its not me...
I know its just a test, and a statement of my integrity & character to love them and be their friend even when they might be scared or uncomfortable being mine....
SO, I'll just remain loving them, communicating with them, supporting them, being there for them & being a friend when they need me. :)
afterall, thats what true friends do...

<3